like a fire

Today, I pick up Cathy at the airport and end my time as a solo Dad. I had a really great time and learned a lot. So here are my lessons learned.

1. Jane is a Pirate, Elizabeth is a ninja - We have said it before, but it was proven again this week. Little E can wreck a room in zero seconds, proving her ninja speed.

The scenario that played out was during a game of hide and seek. I am hiding and Jane and Ella come in to the room. I hear the sound of skin htting skin and hear E start to cry. Jane is hitting her, so I take her aside and am talking to her and correcting her. While this is happening, I put on a youtube video for E. After correcting Jane I come back into the room. Now this is more my fault than Elizabth’s because I left it out, but when I get back, she has turned a sketch that I have been working on more time than I care to admit into a piece of black paper.

2. Jane needs a Mommy, bad - Jane is a great little girl with high social needs. Sometimes, we just can’t get her to stop talking. The first day she was alright and didn’t notice Cathy’s abesence so much. The second day, her behavior and social needs started showing the absence of her mother. Last night, she just cried in frustration after having a night of attention seeking behavior. Jane just needs her mother sometimes.

3. I am ADD when I don’t get my social needs met - I generally think of myself as a fairly self-sustaining person. I dream, occassionally, of moving to Montana and living as a semi-hermit. Mid-day Saturday I was craving some adult face time. I had talked on the phone a couple of times with friends and Cathy, but I hadn’t had any relating in proximity with an adult for three days. I was going a little lot bonkers. I realized I have some pretty high social needs s well. Big tells for my needs are: low attention span (I couldn’t even make it through a movie without losing interest), manic conversations when I see an opportunity (I was more social than I have ever been at church Sunday morning just because I wanted conversation with someone older than 4), and a willingness to eat just about anything.

After all, it was a great week and I am really glad Cathy got some time to herself, but I am really ready to see her again. We pick her up today at 10:48. You can bet I won’t be late.

As a mother’s day gift, I encouraged Cathy to take some time and spend it with her friends and let me keep the girls. So, yesterday morning Cathy flew down to Orlando and my weekend with my two daughters began. What a bittersweet time.

I really love my wife and we affectionately call ourselves Team Martin. We really work together to make things happen, and, while we can defintely make do with half the team, it isn’t nearly as easy as it normally is. Having said that:

We had a really great day yesterday. After droping Cathy off at the airport (an adventure in itself for Jane), we did our normal Daddy daughters time - a Target run. I picked up some fun for Jane later and then it was time to get home for lunch. The girls had pizza but I had, of all things, a salad. Those of you who know, this is not my normal preferred meal, but my wife has been inspiring me to eat better, so…

After a short nap, Jane and I made pie. Well, we kind of made pie. We actually used premade crusts that were 3 inches in diameter and used the mixer to mix powder and milk to make Jello no-bake cheesecake. We then made a library run, movie run and grocery run. We got back, did some coloring and art (like Mommy) and then made some dinner (breakfast burritos and waffles for Ella). Then we got the big treat of mini-cheescake. For entertainment, we watched most of Dumbo, which Jane picked for her movie, baths and then bed time.It was actually a really great night.

I have no idea what we are doing today. I had planned on a trip to the grandparents, but they are going out of town. I then thought of the Zoo, but I think it is going to rain today. I miss Cathy right now. She usually has a couple of ideas at this point.

Today we ran the gamut of experiences in the Martin household. We awoke to a fine layer of powder this morning that some Alabamians would call “snow”. Having lived in Pennsylvania, (or PA as we call it) I would refer to it as little more than hard frost. But I took some pictures anyway. The girls had a “big time” playing in it and then we drove down to Hardee’s for some breakfast.

We then went and found our new mattress. We have been needing a new one for a while and have started doing to unenviable shopping. Mattress salesmen rate just below lawyers, used car salesmen, tele-marketers and pond scum. SO without much hassle we have decided on a select comfort bed, which we will probably order Monday.

Later in the day we decided to do a little (read very little) yard work, since the uh… “snow” had completely vanished and it was actually quite dry. This is a shot of our new creek (taken the same day), which some people up north insist on pronouncing “crick”.

Not too bad for a youth pastor salary. It is actually quite nice sitting on our back deck and listening to the sound of running water as opposed to cars bumping along at our previous residence.

To top this day off, “Daddy Harv” (my father-in-law) called just a few minutes ago and invited us out to eat at El Mariachi. So it has been a pretty good day for us.

Today I am thirty-seven. There were times that I thought I wouldn’t live to be this old. Frankly, it doesn’t feel a day older than thirty-six. In fact, since I have been eating a little (very little) better, it feels pretty good.

Update Remembrance for the past year:

Thanks to a pretty extraordinary year, I realized a lot more about who I am and what I love.

I have a great wife and a great immediate family.

The people in my life who care about me are more of my family than the rest of my genetic family.

Dr. Pepper makes me sweat, a LOT.

Surprisingly, if I could sit in a room and do one thing it would be talk to people.

I am a real person apart from my youth ministry passion.

I get angry at silly stuff that doesn’t really matter (working on this one).

I don’t get that angry about big stuff that does matter (this one too).

I used to think that knowing about God made you a pretty good person, and I looked down on people who didn’t.

I used to think God needed my protection.

When I am trying to impress people, they like me less.

I love music and don’t treat myself to it enough.

So that is my words of wisdom for myself at the ripe old age of thirty-seven. Overall, I just feel very blessed to be where I am, in a church that loves me where I am.

It’s the day before Valentine’s Day and a friend asked me if it was too late to get flowers this morning. I hadn’t really thought about it since it isn’t a part of my paradigm to give flowers for V-day. What would I want for a gift? Hmmm… Make magazine has some great ideas.

How about a laser etched Moleskin. Though I would probably want something a little better than I fly etched onto it. Not very romantic.

Or maybe some personalized candy. These seem to be for the anti-social scientist type. I can probably think of some… ahem… tasty things to put on there.

Cathy and I both got a laugh out of the Darwin Valentine. Nothing says “I love you” like an old guy who thinks love just happens.

For me, I will be content with a night of food, wine and conversation with my wife. That’s our normal and most fulfilling tradition for Valentine’s Day. It’s not as earth-shaking as some people’s celebration, but it’s what we love.