like a fire

Today, I pick up Cathy at the airport and end my time as a solo Dad. I had a really great time and learned a lot. So here are my lessons learned.

1. Jane is a Pirate, Elizabeth is a ninja - We have said it before, but it was proven again this week. Little E can wreck a room in zero seconds, proving her ninja speed.

The scenario that played out was during a game of hide and seek. I am hiding and Jane and Ella come in to the room. I hear the sound of skin htting skin and hear E start to cry. Jane is hitting her, so I take her aside and am talking to her and correcting her. While this is happening, I put on a youtube video for E. After correcting Jane I come back into the room. Now this is more my fault than Elizabth’s because I left it out, but when I get back, she has turned a sketch that I have been working on more time than I care to admit into a piece of black paper.

2. Jane needs a Mommy, bad - Jane is a great little girl with high social needs. Sometimes, we just can’t get her to stop talking. The first day she was alright and didn’t notice Cathy’s abesence so much. The second day, her behavior and social needs started showing the absence of her mother. Last night, she just cried in frustration after having a night of attention seeking behavior. Jane just needs her mother sometimes.

3. I am ADD when I don’t get my social needs met - I generally think of myself as a fairly self-sustaining person. I dream, occassionally, of moving to Montana and living as a semi-hermit. Mid-day Saturday I was craving some adult face time. I had talked on the phone a couple of times with friends and Cathy, but I hadn’t had any relating in proximity with an adult for three days. I was going a little lot bonkers. I realized I have some pretty high social needs s well. Big tells for my needs are: low attention span (I couldn’t even make it through a movie without losing interest), manic conversations when I see an opportunity (I was more social than I have ever been at church Sunday morning just because I wanted conversation with someone older than 4), and a willingness to eat just about anything.

After all, it was a great week and I am really glad Cathy got some time to herself, but I am really ready to see her again. We pick her up today at 10:48. You can bet I won’t be late.

As a mother’s day gift, I encouraged Cathy to take some time and spend it with her friends and let me keep the girls. So, yesterday morning Cathy flew down to Orlando and my weekend with my two daughters began. What a bittersweet time.

I really love my wife and we affectionately call ourselves Team Martin. We really work together to make things happen, and, while we can defintely make do with half the team, it isn’t nearly as easy as it normally is. Having said that:

We had a really great day yesterday. After droping Cathy off at the airport (an adventure in itself for Jane), we did our normal Daddy daughters time - a Target run. I picked up some fun for Jane later and then it was time to get home for lunch. The girls had pizza but I had, of all things, a salad. Those of you who know, this is not my normal preferred meal, but my wife has been inspiring me to eat better, so…

After a short nap, Jane and I made pie. Well, we kind of made pie. We actually used premade crusts that were 3 inches in diameter and used the mixer to mix powder and milk to make Jello no-bake cheesecake. We then made a library run, movie run and grocery run. We got back, did some coloring and art (like Mommy) and then made some dinner (breakfast burritos and waffles for Ella). Then we got the big treat of mini-cheescake. For entertainment, we watched most of Dumbo, which Jane picked for her movie, baths and then bed time.It was actually a really great night.

I have no idea what we are doing today. I had planned on a trip to the grandparents, but they are going out of town. I then thought of the Zoo, but I think it is going to rain today. I miss Cathy right now. She usually has a couple of ideas at this point.

So I have just caught up on a little bit of controversy surrounding Obama. I knew that he was going to push many people’s comfort level in the religion/state topic, but I should have seen this coming. Apparently James Dobson has taken it on himself to fight the good fight against Obama and has taken one of his speeches to point out why Obama is not the candidate for Christians. You can read about it here, see Obama’s speech here, and here about it from Scott McKnight here.

Basically, Dobson takes Obam’s speech and uses everything he can to try to make it sound like Obama is saying something unchristian. I have read the blow by blow here. Personally, I think McKnight is easy on Dobson. It’s Dobson and people like him who give in to knee jerk responses to Obama that make me cringe at calling myself a christian. It’s annoying and infantile. Even worse are the people who listen to this kind of slander and are persuaded by it, or use it to comvince themselves of what they already believe about people.

I talked with someone yesterday who is convinced that Obama is a Muslim. I have seen the Obama as Jesus t-shirts as well. I guess at this point I am just wondering what if anything an American president can do to change this country. It seems we, as a group, are dead set on proving that democracy doesn’t really work when people choose to be ignorant of the facts.

I spent some time this week hanging out with some guys and playing Halo. It was a lot of fun, but something always happens at some point in these sessions where I feel really condemned. I don’t know if it is the nature of the game, the nature of this younger generation or if I am just too sensitive, but something about this turns my stomach.

Basically, I just not as good as most of the people I play with. I don’t mind loosing all the time, but I don’t like being played with. I REALLY don’t like it when someone who has the skill to beat me when we are equally matched with weapons gets the shotgun and the rocket launcher and doesn’t even give me a chance. That seems like overkill to me.

But my real issue is about fun. To me, it just isn’t fun to play with someone who is that much better and isn’t gracious about it. If your that much better, do you have to vocalize how bad I am ll the time? Is that fun? If your that much better, do you have to get in a tank and kill me as I spawn? Is that fun? Apparently it is loads of fun to some people, and I just wonder why. For those of you who don’t play Halo, here is an analogy of what I am talking about. I am 37 years old, about 200 pounds and I can handle myself in a fight. If I where to get into the boxing ring with a 10 year old it would most likely be a slaughter. The analogy would be me getting into a boxing ring with a ten year old, wearing a kevlar vest and full battle armor, carrying a knife and an uzi. It seems a bit cruel.

So I had this conversation after playing the other day with a couple of people. I got absolutely no response to the question of fun. None. Last night, I played on Xbox Live and had the same experience. Knowing now what I do, I think I can let it go. I certainly have more fun when I am in a game and get killed so much. But I really wonder about the kind of fun we learn through some of these games. Not that this is any different from many other none video games out there.