like a fire

Well, it turns out I am still alive, though not very present in the blogosphere. I haven’t blogged in so long, my computer forgot my blog address. I wish that I could apologize, but I really have just been having too much fun and experiencing too much life to miss blogging. Having said that, here is what has been happening.

I am now happily ensconced in my role as youth pastor at St. Peter’s. I have been teaching on Sunday morning’s for a month now and have had a couple of events. I am reminded this morning about how it was for me just a little over a month ago. It was maybe the biggest test of faith I have ever had.

After being “asked to leave” from my last church, I had lots of doubts. I knew I still wanted to be in youth ministry, but I had no place to serve and was very discouraged in where I thought God was leading me. In my heart, I felt like youth ministry could be something so much more than what it has been for me. I believed believe that it could be a place where the kingdom is invested in teens through a specific plan that was laid out thousands of years ago. Basically, I thought think that discipleship is the best way to help teens, especially for the long haul. All the events and big gatherings, though great at the time, are just not enough to sustain teens when they eventually graduate. I was in the middle of wondering if I was crazy.

I think tests of faith are like that. My friend Johnny tells me in counseling that people often wonder things like that. Am I crazy? Are they lying? I knew God wasn’t lying, but I sincerely questioned where my heart was leading.

Through it all, my wife was a rock of support. She kept telling me about Jacob and him wrestling with God. Jacob held on until God gave him his blessing. She would say, “Hold on for the blessing.” Many times I wondered if I was being realistic in turning down opportunities and not even pursuing many others.

Then can St. Peter’s. In many ways, it is not at all what I would have picked for myself. Yet, in so many ways, I found it to be the place I have been longing for. How did God know all the things my heart has been craving that I didn’t even know? I am amazed at the depth of compassion that I have been shown.

And now, I am in the beginning of the blessing. It is great and awe inspiring. I can’t imagine a better place to be. I hope that this blog is a place for many more stories of God’s blessings.