like a fire

So lately my direction with God has left me scratching my head. I really just have no idea what He is doing with me, and I have almost no idea what I should be doing. Here is my list of what doesn’t work taken from the experience I have had in trying deal with my situation:

1. Panic - I read somewhere recently that Man is the only creature that runs faster when he is lost. I believe that wholeheartedly. Running around like a crazy person, being busy and getting nothing done is not very helpful. It might be a natural response to lack of direction, but it just doesn’t help, and really, it only makes things worse.

2. Get Angry - I have always heard and often said that anger is a secondary response to hurt. Getting angry just alienates you from the people who can help you when your lost. Getting angry at God just doesn’t make any sense, although I believe that some of the best men in the Bible did this.

3. Despair - I preacher recently said from the pulpit, “why would you indulge your weakness?” For me, despair is a giving up on what I know is true. I know that all of this that I am going through is going to be God’s glory. Maybe it already is and I just don’t know it yet. Either way, in the words of David Crowder “We Win”.

Those are some of the things I have done to deal with being asked to resign my job, moving away from my friends, having my house sold and then having the buyers back out at the last minute, trying to find jobs in ministry, trying to find any job, etc.

I am trying a new list that goes something like this:

1. Trust - God has it worked out. A guy I am starting to like a lot told me about his situation which was very similar not long ago, “God got me into this, He can get me out.”

2. Fight - Doesn’t sound different from getting angry, but it is. I have a tape that palys in my head that tells me all kinds of lies that I should believe about myself. It sounds like this, “You’re a loser, nobody will ever hire you, you’re not a good provider for your family, you’re not even a man.” Those are just lies, and I have to fight for the truth.

3. Appreciate - Let’s face it, without all the stress and worry about finding a new calling, most people would love to be at home with their kids. It really is a great time despite my railing about it.

So there is my list for those who are about to rock.