Bridging the Gap
2 01 2007
I have been thinking lately and talking to someone about the gap that exists between teens in many situations. There is always a gap between what people think is different about them and what is actually different. This is as old as jocks against nerds or even ninjas against pirates. For some reason we all just think that we are so different in so many ways than the people around us and teens have this feeling multiplied in the psyche. They think they are so different, that nobody understands them and consequently they feel unloved.
So I am thinking of how to bridge the gap. In this particular situation the gap is mostly money. Extreme money differences like from Ferraris and Bentleys to Aeros and Cavaliers. How do you have a ministry that touches each side where they are and is compelling to both?
Obviously you can’t have the big money event that would be possible for most youth ministries. The rich kids have seen all that and nothing you do will compete with that. Giving away an iPod for an incentive to bring friends wouldn’t even touch their lifestyle. That kind of event might attract the poor but it might also alienate them by showing all that they don’t have. They might not feel comfortable or even welcome. So what kind of event would work?
I wonder what is a common denominator for each group?
Here’s my guess:
They all need love that they probably don’t feel like they getting.
The Beatles had it right. Money can’t buy me love. This is especially true in the extreme sides of economic levels. The extreme poor and rich kids have parents that generally aren’t around or aren’t accessible. Poor parents spend most of their time trying to provide for their families and rich parents spend most of their time making money to support their lifestyle. It’s funny how financial success and failure look so much alike in workload. That leaves teens with lots of time away from family to care for them. I could go done the need of love road, but that would be pedantic.
They all struggle with their identity.
Then there is identity. This is common to almost all teens and most adults for that matter. Someone asked me recently to name five things that will always be true about me - things that have nothing to do with what I do, what I wear, what I drive or where I live. It’s not an easy question.
Both of these are a formula for no intrinsic value that acts out in many ways.
I am asking some friends to help brainstorm this situation and will be posting the results later.
I work with a lot of different kids. Last year I was at a private Christian school, this year I’m working with public and private- and the kids range from rich kids to Mexican immigrants. I also think in general- lower economic levels tend to have stronger faith.
I’m not sure what your goal is. Do you want these kids in church. Or do you want them to have a strong faith? Do the two have to go together?
I went to the mall in a neighboring town in SC last week. There is a store in the mall that has been transformed into kind of a teen hangout spot. AND it is a “church.” You might have come across something like that before- but it was so facinating to me to see all those kids flocking to it. It was a place for them.
There is another place in town- just a little coffee shop. Tracy and I went last week. They have board games on the tables for people to come in pick one out and play and talk. No fancy i-pods or video games. Again- I was fascinated with the teens that trickled in and out. It was a fun (low tech) place for them to come and hang out.
Third thing- there is a local girl- wealthy family- and last year she decided she wanted to feed needy families. Not too many “homeless” in a small town- but she wanted to feed anyone who wanted or needed. She did it last year. Collected foor and cooked. She did it again this year getting her friends more involved.
Have I rambled enough yet? So, teens need a place that is theirs just like adults. They also need fun because they are kids, but it doesn’t have to be expensive, and shouldn’t be for those without gobs of money. They need flexible hours to squeeze in between work and school. They need to be able to learn the rewards of giving of themselves. They all have positive adult menors of some form in their lives.
I’m very interested in where you’re going with this thread (and what ideas your friends will come up with.) Although these are a few positive things in this area- it is still rural South and there is a HUGE ethnic division among kids- not just economic levels. And, its not just a simple black and white issue anymore. We have large Asian and Mexican groups and I never see those kids in these groups. There are language and cultural barriers that divide the kids- even in the halls at school.
k- I’m done rambling now!
Happy New Year.
Kim, great thoughts! I agree that a place to hang out is a cool thing that can be a great bridge for gaps. I wonder what makes a place like that have enough buzz to overcome the negative feelings most people associate with church. I also wonder if that would work in all areas. I would think that the poor kids would love this place, but I wonder what it would take to bridge the gap with the rich kids.
I think what this highlights is that there is another gap between teens desires (a place to hang out, ownership, etc.) and what they need (a mentor who can call them out on things that they need to, giving of themselves, etc.).
http://isite78285.intellisite.com/ This is a link to the mall thing in SC. Interesting.
I’d add that teens (and adults for that matter) need a purpose. They need to feel a part of something bigger than themselves and their little world.
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