like a fire

Yup, this Christmas Eve for me is a nightmare (BTW, I love the movie that this is a reference to). This morning Cathy, who never checks the mail, decides to check the mail and I got a letter from a prospective church that was letting me know that they were looking elsewhere. That took the wind out of my sails. I was really looking for that one to pan out and there is nothing else on the horizon. Then we go to church this morning only to find out that there is no childcare for Jane and it is unreasonable for her to sit through the whole service. The usual worship leader is away and the sermon was to be delivered by the youth pastor, who is developing his preaching style. Later, we try to redeem the fact that we live in Florida and it is 80 degrees outside by going to the Gaylord Palms Ice show. We drop $50 for tickets plus $10 for parking and even more for tolls for a very cool but very short exhibit of ice sculptures. Seriously, it took longer to wait in line that it took to go through the exhibit.

This year, especially the past six months, has been hard on me. I am now forced to look for a job in the secular market in hopes that I will find a church call. Having said that, I am pretty OK.

I think this year I am able to focus more on the birth of Christ and what that means to me. I won’t have some of the warm and fuzzy feelings I have had in the past, but I will know that I am God’s servant and that I am loved by him. Though my life is sometimes nightmarish, my faith is being used to work through this time. I was talking to Cathy about how it is only in times of crisis that we even have to use faith. I feel like my faith is really being exercised. The redemption of this nightmare is pending, but I know that it is coming.

As bad as it feels right now, I think this might be my best Christmas.