like a fire

USATODAY.com - Gen Nexters have their hands full

According to USA Today, achievement is the new measure of success for today’s teens. From studies of more graduates going to college and the higher rate of competition in schools, they draw the conclusion that success is measured more by achievement than by status, money, fashion or even friends.

I see this a lot among the teens I work with. They are very competitive and are very shy about saying they are good at something unless they are recognized as an achiever in that area. This reminds me of the story about how someone went into a kindergarten class and asked if they could sing. They all said yes and started singing. They asked if they could dance and they all started dancing. They asked if they could paint, and they all painted their favorite things. The person then went into a high school class and asked the same questions. All answers were no with much excuse and apology. “No, we don’t sing. I mean, we’re not in the choir.” ” No, we don’t dance, especially in front of people. We certainly haven’t had any dance classes, and if we have, there are others who are better than us.”

At some point in our lives, we compare ourselves to each other and find that we don’t measure up. This is especially present in what I call the Tiger Woods syndrome. My wife and I used to golf occasionally. She would usually wind up frustrated at some point because she couldn’t strike the ball like Tiger. It is unreasonable, but it IS what we compare ourselves to.

This makes me wonder, “Why do we feel like we have to be the best?” This is especially present when confronting self value. Why is it that we know there will always be someone better out there, yet we can’t have value for ourselves unless we are the best? Why do we prefer that lie? Does it let us off the hook? Hmm…