like a fire

the four agreements, don miguel ruiz book - a code for life and personal development I recently came across this book/idea from a strange series of links.

According to these thoughts, we should avoid negative people/comments. I am completely intrigued by this thought and what it says about discipleship. On the one hand, I can completely see the point. We shouldn’t continue to listen to people who are destructive in their negativity. But on the other side, I see how sometimes I need to hear some hard stuff. That’s the way I grow the most somtimes.

Here are some highlights from different sites.

From the four agreements - don miguel ruiz:

agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

These seem very resonable to me. The only one that gives me a slight check is number 2. Yes other people’s opinions are just that. But sometimes people see things about us that we can’t and need to see. If their is a sign on my back that says “kick me”, please tell me.

From Scobleizer:

It was that moment that I decided to moderate my comments here. Yes, I am now approving every comment here. And I will delete any that don’t add value to either my life or the lives of my readers.

This is a huge change for me. I wanted a free speech area, but after having a week off I realize that I need to make a change. That, I’m sure, will lead to attacks of “censorship” and all that hooey. Too bad. I’m instituting a “family room” rule here. If I don’t like it, it gets deleted and deleted without warning — just the same as if you said something abusive in my family room I’d kick you out of my house. If you don’t like that new rule, there are plenty of other places on the Internet to write your thoughts.

I also see the value in this. I wouldn’t let you sit in my living room and say stuff that tears me down, unless… Well maybe I need to hear it. I have had to say some pretty harsh stuff to some people very close to me.

Discipleship is funny this way. We need to build each other up and encourage each other. Yet, if you follow the premise of iron sharpens iron, then you have to ackowledge that sometimes people are going to rub against you and there will be friction. When iron is sharpened, it grinds away the stuff that isn’t sharp, sparks fly, it gets very hot from the friction, and it wears both the tool and the sharpening instrument.