Vacation
25 03 2006OK, I have been on vacation for this week and will be for next week so all my blogging will be strictly for fun. What I mean by vacation, btw, is sitting at home being sick instead of work. So I got an email from Chris Fane who is starting a new blog that is fast becoming a favorite of mine. It’s all youth stuff and helpful articles about that.
His site though is really cool. Basically it is a windows desktop. On that site I came acros this list of Chuck Norris hits. If you like him or play WOW then here is hopefully some new material.
Chuck Norris Facts
1. Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
5. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
6. There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
7. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
8. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
9. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
10. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
11. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
12. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
14. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
15. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
16. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
17. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
18. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
19. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
20. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favouritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related death.
Thanks Chris, hope your feeling better.
Hey Paul! Just wanted to thank you for taking good care of my friend Cathy by giving her some away time with her sister! I love the pictures of you and your girls–you are a natural at the Dad stuff! Thanks for encouraging Cathy in her writing too. I love to read her blog–it’s like having a conversation with her.
Hope you are feeling better and can enjoy your second week of vacation!
Okay, I don’t get this Chuck Norris thing. I’ve never played W.O.W. but I play Guild Wars almost every night. I see the Chuck Norris comments going around but have no idea who this dude is or how all this started. Can you fill me in?
Man, this is the best stuff! I’m forever laughing about these Chuck Norris jokes online, and you’ve got some of the best ones in this compilation.
Chuck Norris, for those that don’t know, is a martial arts actor who now resides on Walker Texas Ranger but who used to be a professional kick boxer and was in many B films featuring his martial arts such as The Octogon.
He is also a Christian
Dude … I totally grew up on Chuck Norris. Delta Force, Invasion USA, Rocky, Universal Soldier, Rudy, Terminator, Rambo, etc.
Most people don’t realize that every good action film ever made stars Chuck Norris. Even the ones that didn’t.
Good stuff.