Time and the word “No”
27 11 2005I was trying to think of what happens to my time. This week I happen to have a lot of time to spend doing the things I really like. That is, spending time with friends and family. I was thinking, as I start doing the things I need to so I am not behind next week, about time management. This is where either someone draws a grid and tells you to organize what is important and what is urgent, or whee you list everything you do and prioritize them, etc. I have done all of this and really it is effective. For me though, it isn’t just rpioritizing what is important, or as a friend tells me deciding who to disappoint this week, but deciding what I am capable of and being able to say no to the rest.
This is critical in youth ministry. The role of youth leadership is very fluid and can take every minute of the day. I am supposed to manage my staff, make relationships with new teens, maintain relationships with teens, their parents, church staff, youth staff, and other youth professionals, plan events, write five messages a week (that are relevant and entertaining), lead a couple of small groups, etc. As you can see it is a job that is impossible and this isn’t everything that is expected of me. So I have found that I just have to be human and say that I can’t do all of that.
This is very liberating but can get you into trouble if you don’t communicate your human-ness to others who expect you to be super human. So here are my tips.
1. When someone asks you to do something that you can’t do for whatever reason, say, “no.” Don’t make excuses or explain, just say no.
2. When you see something that can really be cool and will benefit others but you don’t have any time or resources to do it, say, “no.” This is the hardest thing for me, because I constantly see things that would be cool, etc.
3. When in a planning meeting and have the same scenario as #2, say, “not now.” Saying no to something now doesn’t mean that it can’t happen later. It will be much better, though, to try something coll and innovative when you have the time and resources to handle it.
So there are my secrets for time management.
Great secrets. ;) I also am a youth pastor and find that it is critical to say “no” to most things. Fortunately I set a precidence of saying “no” when I was first hired, but I can imagine that it would be much more difficult to say “no” after being established in a ministry when people are not used to that from you.
Oh, and nice site. I think you’ll find mine to be pretty similar. :lol:
nice!! good advice for someone who doesn’t like to say no. not me of course but someone!
Very good advice, and hard to do sometimes.
Tim,
Sometimes precedent precedes us! I’ve only been on the job a couple of months, and apparently, my predecessors did a lot of things differently than I might — and there are people who think I should do them too — whether or not I say “no.”
It’s a struggle to get some members of the church to understand that I’m not a youth-labor-organizing minister, but a youth minister whose job is to minister to youth, not organize them to do ministry for other peoples’ ministries (though I’m glad to help them ask the youth to participate)…
Yes, organizing youth service projects is part of the job, but if we did all of the projects my last three predecessors have done, we’d never meet for study, fellowship, or fun… we’d be forever shuttling from one service project to another, using every meeting laboring for Christ without ever having time to talk about him (and I don’t think the church would be thrilled with that either)!
David,
I see this paradigm a lot in youth ministry. The youth are the labor force for the church and shouldn’t be involved in much of anything else. Where is your pastor in this? Almost all of the time this is where you need your pastor’s support. I am fortunate in that I am in a place with this support. I would talk to your pastor about this and see where he stands.
Blessings,
Paul
Paul,
My pastor is supportive both of what I do and my methods. Knowing that, and being able to ask for his support when I most need it makes doing my job possible.
My biggest challenge comes from laypeople who lead various committees. Part of the reason I was willing to take my current position was because the contract made the pastor my day-to-day supervisor — I’ve known UMC churches that have intentionally made the committee that oversees staff responsible for youth ministry staff, and then require monthly reports to the committee, including upcoming plans, to make sure nothing was getting “out of hand.” That’s not the norm, but I’ve seen it several times in this part of the country, and it usually makes a challenging but rewarding job into “youth administration” very quickly…
Grace and Peace,
David
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