like a fire

40 Developmental Assets

I just read this article about where teens are today and what they need. It was an interesting read and confirms what I see in my ministry and evens gives me some practical tips in new ways to reach out to teens.

If what this article says is true, how should youth ministry change in reaction to it?

Support
Do we provide support? I hope so, but the reality is that the support needs of teens is becoming much more diverse. Some teens only need a place to come once a week and be liked by other teens, yet some need a mentor, parent figure, or even a caretaker. The biggest area I see youth ministry able to impact teen support is in giving them a place to serve. Teens need to feel valued, just like we do, and service teaches them their value.

Empowerment
If we are doing support well, then this should happen naturally. I say this as a joke, because the thing I struggle with is empowering others. It’s hard to let people take the responsibility and sometimes the fall, but this is necessary for grwoth. Our ministries ought to be a safe place to fail.

Boundaries
This is where I see my contemporaries failing. They think that ministry has to fun all the time and discipline can’t be a part of that. Believe me, teens want boundaries! Our challenge is to provide them in nurturing ways. More later on this and internal assets

I was trying to think of what happens to my time. This week I happen to have a lot of time to spend doing the things I really like. That is, spending time with friends and family. I was thinking, as I start doing the things I need to so I am not behind next week, about time management. This is where either someone draws a grid and tells you to organize what is important and what is urgent, or whee you list everything you do and prioritize them, etc. I have done all of this and really it is effective. For me though, it isn’t just rpioritizing what is important, or as a friend tells me deciding who to disappoint this week, but deciding what I am capable of and being able to say no to the rest.

This is critical in youth ministry. The role of youth leadership is very fluid and can take every minute of the day. I am supposed to manage my staff, make relationships with new teens, maintain relationships with teens, their parents, church staff, youth staff, and other youth professionals, plan events, write five messages a week (that are relevant and entertaining), lead a couple of small groups, etc. As you can see it is a job that is impossible and this isn’t everything that is expected of me. So I have found that I just have to be human and say that I can’t do all of that.

This is very liberating but can get you into trouble if you don’t communicate your human-ness to others who expect you to be super human. So here are my tips.

1. When someone asks you to do something that you can’t do for whatever reason, say, “no.” Don’t make excuses or explain, just say no.

2. When you see something that can really be cool and will benefit others but you don’t have any time or resources to do it, say, “no.” This is the hardest thing for me, because I constantly see things that would be cool, etc.

3. When in a planning meeting and have the same scenario as #2, say, “not now.” Saying no to something now doesn’t mean that it can’t happen later. It will be much better, though, to try something coll and innovative when you have the time and resources to handle it.

So there are my secrets for time management.

OK, this was probably the best thanksgiving I have had. I got to spend the day with people I really wanted to spend it with. It was very casual and relaxed. Actually the whole first part of the day was spent with my girls. That was great and surprisingly very relaxing. I spent the rest of the day with friends, ate way too much great food, and then retired early. Then pater that night another friend came over and we played games til 11. It was great!

Probably the best thing about me being able to enjoy myself is not having to worry about what I needed to get ready for. I never realized how big a burden that is. Mostly the need to be creative in a clever way. I really put a lot of pressure on myself. I don’t know if I am capable of not doing that, but I think it would do me and those around me a lot of good.

I am very thankful for my friends and family. Really!

OK, I’m not saying that the “emerging church” is stupid. But I see a lot of things that are happening in the name of emerging, that are just stupid. The biggest is the word “missional.” This drives me insane. I hate when people make up words that don’t make sense. What does missional mean? It has something to do with missions? It’s the way we should act about missions? even worse than that is the way people use the word. I wan’t to write a song to the tune of Do the Hustle and replace it with the words Get Missional.

Why is it that to be perceived as clever and pioneering that people have to make up new words. Derrida has a lot to say about it. He says that words like these are oppressive in that they exclude the people who are not a part of using them regularly. Maybe that’s why this word is spreading like wild fire. If you don’t use it then you aren’t cool and clever.

Either way, I think this is a sympton of what we all seek. I don’t know anybody that isn’t in a constant search for something cool to be a part of. I have been looking at lots of emergent leaders churches. They are no different than many other churches. They preach, teach, eat and sin together (isn’t that cool?). Some of these churches are the least pioneering bodies of the kingdom, yet they are cool because they use made up words.

All of this means that I will regularly make up words here so that those who read will feel cool and like they are a part of an exclusive network of peopdom (see I made up a word for people in the kingdom). Please check back regularly for “insider” words that you will not want to be caught in cool circles without.

I have currently been reading this book by John Piper. It is probably the best book I have ever read for a mature Christian. If you are in ministry, I can’t recommend any better book. If you are a Christian struggling with what faith looks like in life, then this is a great book for advice. I have read this book probably 3 times in the last two weeks and I am still getting new insights out of it.